You do realize the lyrics aren't "hold me close TONY DANZA" right?
You can't be serious.
I just spilled my beer all over my laptop.. this is what i get for actually trying to do homework
This guy at the party just introduced himself to me as "the guy who sat behind you on a plane last year"
He gave me his business card. It was a Justin Bieber trading card with his number written in sharpie. I have to call him don't I?
I can't wait for paintbang. I'm going to throw a marker at a child. There will be bail money in my backpack in m trunk. Don't use it on beer.
I gave him shit for taking my sloppy seconds and when I woke up my eyebrow was gone
I wish you were awake and high the same times I was awake and high. And also in the same state. So we can fuck passionately.
Why do I have the 4 of hearts in my bra?
Haha we got sick of drinking on 4 is for whores so we stole the cards...I woke up with three of them in mine
drunken problem solving at its finest
Yes, bail money means jail. It also means lie to dad, do it now.
Hungover on St. Patrick's Day. I did this backwards.
i found 4 slices of pizza in my toaster, and a can of unopened soup in my blender.. wtf?
And when were you going to tell me to stop dancing on his coffee table singing "come on irene?"
I remember turning to Jon after doing a line of coke and saying "I was a Girl Scout"
So is he the one who got away?
They all got away. I’m a catch and release kind of girl.
You have a full penis tattoo of a cobra fighting a mongoose, don't you?
Randomize
