and thats when i went through the window and a shard of glass got stuck in my ass. the doctor said it was the best injury hed seen all month. i am a champion of life.
8am blowjobs give a whole new meaning to morning breath..
Beverly Hills, 90210. Cleveland Browns, 0.
i woke up with toilet paper straight tucked up in my underwear wearing a pizza sauce mustach. I dont think i got laid last night.
We're on a cock hunt. Everything is fair game.
No more Raisinettes before sex. That's what happened. I just put it together
I said geronimo as I came I'm not sure if he appreciated the doctor who reference or was just confused
Men are not even allowed to look at you without a condom on.
My head is pounding and I need an ice pack for my vag. Successful friendsgiving!
She cried the whole movie and got kicked out for saying "[Santa's beard] looks so soft I wanna stick my dick in it." We're going again next week. Drunk animation majors are the best
You told me I couldn't make out with you until I added you on LinkedIn
Come on kid, foreplay is elementary stuff. It's a vagina, not a sphinx.
Grandma cant send me 4 lbs of gummi bears and expect me not to soak them in some sort of alcohol
The last thing I remember is trying to chug the rest of the everclear, running through a fence, and laying down in the snow. I hurt.
He has me blocked on facebook.... so I stalked him using my cats fan page.
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