would you ever date a girl who drove an 89 Chrysler LeBaron? - for the record it's a convertable
just shaved my legs at the gas station bathroom before going to the club. is that too ghetto?
My face is bruised from laying on the concrete. NO MORE VODKA!
New game: Step 1) Turn on ESPN. Step 2) Drink every time someone says "LeBron."
She kept biting his ear when he was talking to people, that was only 3 drinks in...
You are very nonchalant about the high probability of us having an orgy.
Eh, I'm ok with this, this can work. We're the best kind of the worst people.
I woke up with the Dorothy costume at my ankles, both sparkly red shoes on, and clutching ToTo....we're not in Kansas anymore, dude
He is stood at the top of the stairs nursing the stolen cat
Are there any plans to where i might need to be dressed semi-nicely or is it a "pants optional" weekend?
This is what you sent me from the other side of the pool, "Idk but thers a pool n l wanna get naked take off my trunks ill paddle with my dick"
We don't have paper towels so I microwaved a spinach/egg sandwich thingy wrapped in toilet paper. Toilet paper. so that's how my day started.
Side note, i did some manscaping and now my farts sound way different
I'm by the tree and the Dora the explorer balloon .. Look for the Dora the explorer balloon
The whole time you were apparently enduring your pukescapades, I was singing very loudly in the car to Beyonce on my way to get a post-coitus Diet Coke.
Yeah come over whenever. Weed gets here at 8.
I'll be there at 7:59.
Randomize
