you kept typing in answers.com, why are the state police calling my house, expecting an answer
She liked every single Facebook status in her newsfeed and then made her status 'I LIKE U GUYS'
what is it with giant penises always finding me
That's terrible. At least give it a creative name like muff mobile.
don't let me wipe my vag with a dirty leaf outside of mcdonalds ever again.
hey this is Madison. you gave me your number last night and asked me to remind you that you didn't fuck anyone. you okay?
It'd be easier to list the surfaces my ass hasn't been on.
I'm still high with raccoon eyeliner eyes and chocolate all over my face and chest, clutching a mug of wine. Happy graduation.
If I had a penis, I'd want to put it in you. And I'd treat you with respect and pay for your drinks.
The Wolf of Wall Street “I ain’t fuckin’ leaving!” speech when the cops broke up your party though...
I will run into the sunset with a fist full of condoms.
Which is worse that I came in public or that no one noticed?
I've never been to an orgy, but I would assume nachos wouldn't be out of the question at one.
Or is it distressingly heterosexual?
Haha word. Sure I can do that. Help me find which bar has my pants and you'll get free tacos all week
Randomize
