Just made a coke joke and literally drooled on myself. How do we feel about pavlov's theory of conditioning now?
I found her sitting in the shower having an argument with the dolphins on the shower curtain.
She's dressed as a slutty Dalmatian. I doubt she has morals.
I don't think of it as I'm taking a pole dancing class...its more like I'm making myself recession proof
Sounds good! I plan on writing a book entitled: I've Probably Done Cocaine In Your Bathroom. A tell-all by Lauren.
also, add "teaching boys to sext" to my charity work
I drunk-cried for all conjoined twins everywhere the other day.
I like literally had a visual image of his penis going into your soul
Come over. I've made 2 dinners and so many cocktails. I'm a 50's housewife with no family.
I drank a girls breast milk at this wedding. Shit was next level
We smoked before the sunrise hike. I ended up eating a banana and singing Circle of Life as the sun rose over the horizon.
I'm sitting at dinner with my family looking over sexts. The thirst is far too real. They're talking about retail and I'm like haha, yes, you are all correct.
Yeah that's a good idea.. I like to be responsible when I trip my nuts off
if you guys find pieces of my teeth don't throw them out please
Things that have happened since you moved: Lemmy, Bowie, Snape, Prince, civility, democracy, Carrie Fisher, all dead. Record flooding down here. Twice. This is clearly your fault.
Randomize
