I don't believe in a God but I'm almost positive I just shit out the devil.
I haven't gotten laid in forever. I'm obsessed. I imagine I this is how Ethopians feel about food.
If its vodka, everyone is attractive. Tequila, everyone is dead sexy, single and fuckable.
Astroglide: It's like Bengay for your ass.
I fucked him in the bathroom at Cedar Point. if it hadn't been for me already combining my two favorite things in the world the whole bathroom thing would have been a little disgusting.
The look I see on guys faces when they realize my nipples are pierced remind me of when my mom used to come home from the grocery store and surprise me with poptarts.
making out was so insane. it felt like our tongues were paintbrushes made of waves and we were painting an ocean galazy
your blue lips and tongue was their first indication you were probably underage
HEY THERE IS NO AGE LIMIT ON BLUE SLUSHIES
I was about to take him home and fuck his brains out but then the police came and arrested him for the stolen credit card he had been buying me drinks with all night...
I slapped him but he didn't wake up. He just nuzzled my head, hugged me closer, and smiled.
But that's fine. Because I am an independent woman who is going to pull some jane Goodall shit and save the world one day......or be a porn star......either way they are going to wish they had fucked me.
Oh wow and I have a bunch of portable wine glasses called to go coffee cups
We were in a bathroom while 4 dudes compared dick piercings.
Buffalowww
I'm intrigued by how his mouth tasted the same as his dick.
Dude 4th of July week was our like 5th anniversary of you sending me dick pics ❤️
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