one day I'm really going to regret not using the boners I got in planes and cars
I know I'm really high but I swear I just saw him beating off to his fantasy football roster.
The answer to your question is yes. I am wearing a star of david to the bar in order attract a jewish man.
I have the Lakers game on, but all I can think about is having sex with you. Not sure what you've done here.
Every single piece. I examined every single square inch of this peanut butter and jelly sandwich. and fell in love with every inch. that high.
We just passed a billboard that said to join "jerseydoesntstink.com" and literally 15 seconds later, we could smell jersey.
i just ate a whole pizza and threw it back up in the time span of 13 minutes. give me the number to guiness book of world records.
Well, she's officially disappointed in me. I have it writing.
Dad had me doing shots of chocolate mint Everclear last night. I've never felt closer to him.
we're all going for beer and wings at 7. inflate your girlfriend and bring her along too.
Jk probs not coming. Tequila
If he would've shaved his beard when we first broke up, getting over him would've been so much simpler. That asshole.
I deserve this hangover.
Thanks for leaving me with drunk gabby
Hahahaha why what's happening?
She's sending me morse code through the wall....typical
I just thought you should know... Instead of a glass of wine before bed I am having a few shots of 1800. This is what being a night shift nurse will do to you... Standing in your kitchen in your undies doing shots
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