ya i vaguely remember microwaving a whole package of bacon for 20 minutes or so and then eating it all around 4am
Any particular reason you put 2 smashed up limes in my back pocket last night?
He violated my cat. I was not impressed.
He looks like the kind of guy that would jack off to weird things.
He wore a Medeval Times crown while I gave him a BJ
Hey did where's my bong?
In the tree out back .... Top branch on the right
Should I bother to ask?
Is this the girl that wrote "Poon Slayer" across my chest?!
No night ever ends well that starts with "you know what this needs? More tequila".
I actually have to watch Breaking Bad to make me feel better about my choices last night.
Also I found and fixed my beer gun.
I'm eating Swedish fish out of my boobs and watching SOA.. There is no way your Tuesday night will be better than mine.
Had a moment of weakness, slept with my ex last night
So that's why our room smells like tequila and shame.
Well now you know... If you can get over the awkward... The dick is 10 min away.
This is not okay. I only like one boy. I should like 200 boys and be having wild unprecedented sex. Instead I like one boy whose a born again virgin.
He may be a manwhore, but he’s a very well endowed manwhore
That’s an important feature when it comes to a manwhore
Randomize
