She looks like Sash Grey but sounds like Fran Drescher. Advise.
Trying not to fart in the comp lab is going to take everything i've got.
I just got over my period in 3 days...I believe that is god's way of saying "go fuck an amazingly attractive Italian boy on vacation"
He could tell i had a fever by feeling my tits. He gets docter of the year.
they were fucking between cars in the parking lot and everyone was cheering at them.
Eh, not fuck buddies. I prefer sexercise partner.
Tell them you aren't trying to make money, you are just the mr rogers of weed,its such a good feeling a very good feeling the feeling you know that were friends
I whispered "you're doing a great Job" when he was fucking me. Then high fived him.
I'm never drinking with you again. I woke up in Midtown with a 7' tall Norwegian rugby player named Lexie. Never. Again.
Oh shit. My drunken car sex is on Google Earth.
Thanks for that golden cinnamony goodness that flowed from your fake tits last night haha
She broke up with me. I guess I was in the most chaste lesbian relationship in the history of the world and had no idea.
Woke up this morning with girl, I ask her for some gum. She says "there's a guest toothbrush for the boys in my bathroom". I can't decide whats worse, that she has a shack brush or that I actually used it
Have you ever wondered if we are just made up characters in someone's head? You'll have to forgive me right now I think I have 7 thumbs
They think I'm one of them. I'm about to get drunk in a Santa suit and bust down the door singing Christmas carols.
Randomize
