What you up to?
Having coffee. Getting eyefucked. Eyefucking.
Full throttle
Some guys are relationship guys. Not our niche.
Bullshit. I know you're watching The Dog Whisperer
That Cesar Milan is captivating
Is it weird i consider You Sexy Thing our song?
We discussed our relationship status. We're dating exclusively. And the conversation was followed by him saying "C'mon baby, let's make you orgasm!" .....I'm gonna marry him.
Let's make jello shots for tomorrow
What's going on tomorrow?
Nothing, it's Wednesday
if that's jizz on my steering wheel i'm gonna be pissed...and impressed.
Well, she's officially disappointed in me. I have it writing.
Lame. Party is tapping out at 4am. Even chanting "USA" didn't rally them.
She shouted out halfway through "that costume does nothing to hide your cock". Last time we let her drink at the theatre.
Fried chicken is a must. Do strippers eat fried chicken or should I plan on something else?
Mike's my new hero. There's a flagpole of hook-up's bras on his porch and a week's supply of beer in his fridge but he still has a great job.
He saved that picture of my boobs for good luck romance still exists
Don't tell me you're on acid again
Uhm I have a bottle of tequila, a gallon of orange juice, and leggings. Now ask me again how hard im going? And that doesn't cover tomorrow.
I got really worried when i woke up and there weren't any missed booty calls from him between 3 and 5 am. Apparently his gf is in town ...
Randomize
