they just tried to tell me they weren't big into drugs. A) it was the 70's. B) I've seen the pictures.
he drunkenly pissed himself on the deck, in the bathroom, and on my couch within the span of an hour
its like an avodart commercial...maybe he has a growing problem
she was handing out condoms w/ her number on them...
we got plastered, then made lists of anything thats ever been in our vaginas
I know. Brad is upset because he was lower on the list than "that carrot stick"
We left an ass print on the piano.
For the first time ever I'll be using my lunch break to pass out cold on my desk. We've gotta stop having these late night drinking things on Sundays
We just laid there in bed together, petting his dick and repeating, "IT FEELS LIKE VELVET!!!"
And really all I wanted was to be like "hey can I borrow your dick for a few hours this weekend?"
After he finished he sang his college fight song like it was some victory
What I'm saying is DOWNGRADE. Like, do you see the caps lock?
Justin just used the term "industrial strength colon blow".
We tried to do sophisticated last night, but our low class kept shining through.
You know tonight's gonna be a good night when your already planning on sleeping in a trunk
Oh my god.. Saw a commercial for Captain Morgan. Made me gag a little bit.
For full disclosure: I told my roommates last night that you have a very clean asshole.
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