he saw my emergency pass-out-in-the-bathroom-after-drunken-puking cot in the bathroom.
Peanut butter while high is kinda stressful
Went to the doctors. She saw my " I love beer" tattoo. All she said was " My drunken tat is of just one word. "Cornnuts.". Then said Mexico was "awesome." And sent me on my way. Yeah. She's my favorite doctor.
Playing the biology drinking game in my 8am. Drink everytime he says species or organism. I love st. Patricks day
There's a transgender game of twister in the basement...God doesnt want me to type this paper.
Woke up in my own bed with a "New Years Eve 2011" bar bracelet on. Both of these things confuse me.
i took my sailor hat off and used it as a vom bucket
When you passed out on the kitchen counter she brushed and flossed your teeth, then carried/dragged you to bed. Why aren't you married?
The Angel on my shoulder is now resorting to merely reminding me that, "You will regret this later." I'm not sure if he's learning how I think or just giving up. Either way, should make life a bit more interesting.
Well, I just did coke with a drag queen in a bathroom so that's the direction this night is taking
Ok cuz s'mores night just turned into pina colada after noon and it will be mas fun
I'm sorry, but the "Hobbit Slam" has to be a sex move.
I just had really awesome sex bent over the side of an air hockey table. That is all. Happy thanksgiving.
We are not in a rock band. We can't continue living like this.
Last night I actually told him I came with a washer and dryer
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