didnt we say no more talking to eachother
it will help you get over me i promise
im horny
ok i will unlock the door
If my vag had twitter, what do you think it would say?
So tired and we had a cokehead in the salon today making us bleach her whole head because she thought it would let her pass her drug test for custody of her kid
Oh.My.God.
I was just like staring at the lawn boy while singing "You Belong With Me".
I am the king of creep.
Take one last look at my face, because I'm drinking it off tonight.
Just gave my manager part of my viccodin stash-my job is basically secured forever.
Tonight, a friend walked in and said "oh look at that. Drunk on the living room floor. Just as expected." this is my life. This is my life.
I feel like my nipples were chewed on by alligators.
I almost tried texting you with my pipe. Holy fuck this is good shit.
The drug dealer had chickens in his house so I know it was good stuff.
first time i ever mailed panties back to a fuck buddy. what better of a way to say its over
Hey my dad gave me life the least I can do is take him chicken strips and a pack of marlboros.
When i was tripping hard i was banging Jeff's roommate and her room turned into Hogwarts
Also when we were banging i thought my high school librarian was perched up on top of the stereo like a gargoyle but it ended up just being her cat
Yes. I am out of condoms. I kept filling them with glow paint and playing with them when I was on mushrooms, which resulted in me having unprotected sex last weekend
I'm really excited to meet your new dude! But we really need to find out if he's your cousin first.
Randomize
