If you made a robot out of pillows would he be nice? It's hard to imagine a mean pillow robot. And who came up with the idea of shaving their legs?
mom and dad are leaving for florida on 4/20, this is a sign
He paid me to blow him while doing a handstand. Does that make me a whore or just a budding gymnast?
at what point last night did we decide it was okay to let me hitch hike to another bar?
He said female orgasms are a myth and refuses to even try to give me one.
she asked how her costume looked and all i could say was bars are dark right?
Ok now a guy in a winnie the pooh costume is grinding on some chick to the song shots
I ate 12 cupcakes in less than 24 hours, so no judgement here.
I am now being bribed with one orgasm per every meal I eat. This is the best anorexia therapy ever
Girl I love you like I've been drinking all day
We kind of broke a table making out. So yes, I'd say it was successful.
I am sure I don't wanna know but I have to ask... Why is there a kiddie pool full of jello in the living room?
Hold on I'll be right there, I can't find my arm.
Oh god establish a safe word
I'm going to! Pineapple.
We need to feng shui this bitch.
Randomize
