Life after highschool has not been kind to her. She looked fatter than Luke Wilson's face in those AT&T commercials.
Theres two guys using a blow up doll to hold their beers while they float around the pool
Im on my way, tell them to get ready for a high-five
she was sobbing drunk in the backseat about her dead cat and how the guy in the front seat didn't want to hook up with her
i need to find a notary that isn't going to turn me in for blatantly lying to the us and chilean governments
You do realize that we got a stripper to do the YMCA for us on the main stage... Right?
When did you hit me on the head with a stool?
pregamed for the floor meeting. so stoned. i keep thinking my RA is shrinking.
He spent $1100 at a strip club. If I had that kind of disposable income, I'd make a cocaine sandcastle.
I am so proud of him. After eating the rest of our shrooms, he finally registered to vote
also, made a drinking game out of my birthday photos....drink everytime alcohol is in a photo. going through all 350 of them.
I am alternating between eating dry cheerios and mint chocolate chip ice cream with a fork. Please love me because no one else will
I guess she fell asleep at the strip club and the other one was crying because she had a vagina in her face. Happy 21st!
so, i guess i gotta chill on showing up to work hungover... someone anonymously left a bible in my work mailbox (no one else got one)
I’m not lawful evil! I do evil things because I want to, not because of the law
Talk shit all you want but with my new knife sharpener I have a lethal razor sharp pizza cutter. Fuck with me Mario I dare you!
Randomize