cannot fit in my clothes. too depressed to drink.
if you drink enough to puke, it's like a weight loss plan.
you told everyone your name was brenda and you had the whole party chanting b-dawgg by the end of the night. successful.
Fat spanish girl grinding against air conditioner. ive seen everything now
I mean it's not my fault he had a floor mat that read "put out or get out". What was I supposed to do?
You slow clapped the stripper last night.
Btw, do you want me to fix this with a box of wine and a chick flick or is this more of a 'lets head to the strip club' problem? I'm just trying to analyze the emotional depth of the situation.
You told her that she shouldn't be allowed to wear clothes then when her roommate asked if you like her you said "no I just want to insert things into her"
I stand by it.
I just got nudes while talking in the third person. Not sure if I Should be proud or ashamed.
I'm giving random strangers at the bar sips of my fishbowl, then telling them I have Ebola. It's a fun night.
learned the hard way that breakfast jack daniels is a lot stronger than lunch or dinner jack daniels.
Are you drunk texting me again or are you just being your regular stupid self?
yes
She's sent me the same nudes using the same gestures and positions... It's like she has a template for her sluty-ness
sex on a bike is impossible
challenge accepted
he said "i'm the cat whisperer, watch". he took a hit from the pipe, grabbed the cat and blew the smoke in its ear. he grinned and the cat started purring. it was magnificent
Where are you guys?
Drunk
Randomize
