1. Call me if you need ANYTHING. 2. If you get tag teamed, I want details.
I don't think he has that. His apartment was pretty much a tv and a bed. Topless girl calendar and a glass of water to put out cigarettes.
woke up with ski boots on and a kayak in my room... birthday successful? i'd say so
Just got off the phone with poison control. They're more concerned about our alcohol intake than that the beer bong was last cleaned with pine sol.
He's having a heart to heart coversation with the keg about what he should do with his life.
..She then engaged in what she called an "interpretive pole dance"
Standing in a circle of girls fistpumping to the word "hospital" while taking shots.... I don't see this ending well, but its fucking fun.
He gave me such a powerful orgasm I blurted out I love you. This is why just rebouding out of a serouis relationship is awkward.
I legitimately forgot how to blow my nose just now. Sleep might be handy.
I was just asked if I wanted to struggle snuggle. She's a keeper
My heart stopped for a sec, but I snorted what I believe was cocaine off the floor, and I'm back in the fight
She called to say her plane was running late and i had 30minutes to get to the airport for bathroom sex
I tried to be mean but not so mean that he won't bone me next weekend
Just checked out of walmart with a 30 pack of Budlight and a wiffle bat. Hello, Monday night.
If it were up to me his wife would never get his penis again, but I guess they have some sort of arrangement
Yes, an arrangement called marriage
Randomize
