his mom and I have the same butterfly tramp stamp. don't ask how that came up
Found crayons in my cigarette pack. I can't help but feel you may be responcible.
It was so cute that he apologized for getting cum on my couch. If he realized how many guys had cum on that couch in the past year, he wouldn't have touched my vagina with a 10-ft pole.
Just face planted the stairs. Apparently Santa brought an extra step while I was at the bar... Fucking dick
Go for it! You're young. Have fun. Be somebody's expensive hobby like Anastasia Steele.
I was so gone I thought the cops banging on my door were kids from the party trying to get into my room... needless to say, I started moaning louder so they would take the hint.
Though the booty shorts might give me an extra discount. Or arrested. We'll see.
We smoked a blunt in a stall where a drag queen was fucking a bartender in the ass. So theres gonna be a second date :)
See, this is why we give you shit. Ashley gets her car cleaned out, I get multiple enchiladas made, and you get cum in your eye.
My memory of last night is a delicious blur of tits, ass, and alcohol.
I need a "no soliciting" sign for your dick
I made out with the uber driver for free weed, I thought he deserved it
Then you guys just all showered together...?
Turns out my mom didn't really want to know I was in a new dimension last night from smoking so much.
my roommates gone so i can take codeine and sleep naked
Randomize