There is a girl getting fingered on my left, a middle aged drink man smoking a bong and two girls flashing the cameras in front of me. I'm in the middle trying to maintain my innocence.
So Jesus turned water into wine. So what? I once turned a whole student loan into natty light. Your move holy man.
Fuck. These are the symptoms I had when I was pregnant. This could be bad.
Its everclear night, yall need carbs in your body!
I'm glad you have such faith in my ability to find the worst situations with my vagina.
No, your dick is problems. Anyone you fuck haunts us for the rest of the semester. If you need to get laid, I'll personally drive you out of state.
I'm hoping my engineering degree will pay off when I invent porn watching in the shower
3-9 out of 10... Depends on the situation. Taco Bell is more of an idea than a restaurant.
How stoned are you?
You can achieve whatever you wish in your imagination with some help from drugs
On a separate note, I just found out some condoms aren't vegan. Problem.
Hahahaha I can't wait for you to ask "wait. are there any animal by products in that?"
He talked for 3 hours straight on how his dad is a dentist how fuck do you think my night was
You're right. Cause really... I'm in the back of his head. Even though what I said was better than "I have herpes"... I did once say that to him. So I'm like a reoccurring nightmare.
He was like the most intimidating looking guy you've seen in your life except he was really shittily doing the two step
He referred to our sex as "an Olympic event." My tits are bruised.
Is there a reason why your pubic hair is a plastic bag on my bathroom floor? And yes I know its yours... You wrote your name on the bag
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