Thats not how I planned it, its just the way she passed out
hot pretzels for dinner, snacks, and now breakfast...oh to be a poor college student...everyday is like a carnival.
I felt weird they were both staring at me waiting for the scoop on how your vagina felt.
It's sore actually
I just blindly shoved it in. I'm still not sure which hole I got.
She puked in the bank of America parking lot? Awesome.
Yeah, figured I'd deposit my check while we were there.
I think I'm making progress on my commitment issues. I drunk made out with the same guy from last semester this weekend.
I don't care. I'm going to fuck John's friend and it's all your fault.
This titty bar has wifi. I just did FaceTime stage side
I gave ten strangers a full description of his penis and its abilities. I need to stop drinking.
So I just tried to wake him up with a blow job and he literally touched the top of my head and said snooze button
Who was the person who brought the rooster when they won @ beer pong
Remind me in the morning that I've now seen a guy do crack. That actually happened. I'm at the wrong party.
My VP dropped me off at the Strip Club in Houston. Just said "I was never here".
and it's like......my shirt is off and he's talking about quidditch. why.
MY GOD DAMN TV STOPS WORKING EVERY TIME I AM THIS FUCKING HIGH. WHY MUST IT TORMENT ME?!
Randomize
