Hey, what are you up to?
Drinking wine with the guys and watching 7 Pounds.
Looking back I guess I could have changed that to beer and Die Hard.
If he doesn't notice me by the next party, i'm just gonna go up to him and pll his pants down and blow him.
Sounds like a plan.
Drunk. I slept-stripped.
By myself.
Decided against hooking up with creepy stalker guy for a ride to work. I feel I've earned a few self respect points back.
I'm still tasting pancake mix. I think this may actually be a serious medical problem...
totally just got a week extension on my midterm by telling my prof that I had just found out I was adopted
there's nothing weirder than waking up to your mom eating breakfast on the couch that you fucked her coworker on last night.
We didn't want to make a pit stop so I just helped my husband pee in a bottle. No one told me this was part of love.
Dude. The only thing that I use less than my dick is my tennis racket. We need to play.
All I know is that at 4 am I was walking down the street in my bra and his shorts and Im pretty sure I passed my grandma on her morning walk.
I was thinking about the biological process causing me to puke while I was puking. THAT'S how much I'd been studying.
Everyone says she blew me in the bathroom, so I believe it, I just don't REMEMBER.
Hypothetically speaking, at what point does fire become too much fire?
this periodpocalypse needs to be over. I need head
I miss the pre Covid days when we could meet men in bars. Hitting on guys in the grocery store is just depressing
Randomize
