I heard we made out
if i die, you can have my worn out liver and american apparel deep v's.sell the liver to a chinese restaurant
I puked in a mailbox on the way back from your house.
If the pens lose tonight I'm gonna drive to Detroit and burn 8 mile to the ground.
Actually I may do that regardless. Probably get my own holiday.
I don't care where my tongue is but i t's going to be in all the pictures.
The only good thing about trampolines when you're fucked up is the gushing blood really cleans all the bad coke out of your nose.
The cardboard box in my backseat wasn't strong enough to keep your pee contained. Come clean my car.
Also I climbed atop a mailbox with a toilet paper hat and a wolverine claw made of glowsticks, screaming at passers-by that they were going to die. Control me
You were force feeding yourself jello and you kept repeating, "I will not surrender"
If he can forgive your lousy blowjobs, you can ignore his terrible driving.
Are you still feeling it? I'm in the bathtub. The water doesn't work but it's okay because I'm wearing pants.
You ran out of his house yelling "I got the goods!" Then you pulled toilet paper rolls out from under your shirt.
10 shots in she's sitting on the floor using the open dishwasher door as a plate to eat her "life giving" pizza.
just showered sitting down cuz standing seemed like too much work, thursdays need to stop making me their bitch.
He ate me out for my sailor moon manga and I gave him a blowjob for his Devilman manga. Pretty sweet deal imo
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