So I just opened the bag you gave me and those panties aren't mine...
oh
cynthia nixon should never get laid more than me
I think she kind of thinks she's better than us now ... please. I go to Michigan.
On a scale of 1 to 10 how hot is the girl you're about to fuck?
Strong 6
That's an oxymoron.
All i remember before i blacked out is you pointing to a random chick and telling me to bang her for America.
they told me if I wanted to live here I had to get an ass tattoo and then they all mooned me simultaneously. ass tattoos as far as the eye could see.
You're too morally constrained. I firmly believe that you should be less concerned with how young she is and more excited by the fact that she's not jailbait by virtue of a legal technicality.
We're taking a shot every time Landon Donovan takes a shot. It's clever, sort of.
And my nipple is sore from him biting it. That is not a complaint.
Just so you know in the morning, yes you did send your bartender a snap of your boobs. No I didn't try to stop you because you used sound logic for doing so.
Do you know how close I got to throwing him over the edge of the canyon?
long story short, the bouquet was used as a sacrificial torch
His pet bird was perched ON HIS DICK.
My friends say stay away from him but it’s still 2017 so I’m allowed to make shit decisions until midnight hahah
Apparently I gave a guy a hand job on the dance floor. ON THE DANCE FLOOR.
Randomize
