why does my vagina smell like weed?
omg thats a great idea
You threw up. And every time you flushed you would wave and go "Bye Bye!" and then when the new water came you would greet it with "Helloooo!"
I feel like I'm back in highscool trying to hide my erections at work
I can do anything tonight that doesnt involve an erection.
He adopted an old drug sniffing dog so that he won't lose his weed around the house anymore. It works.\n
Your last words were "i'm gonna motorboat the bartender." then you commenced with an attempted motorboat
We played shuffleboard at the bar last night...another sign we are getting tooooo old.
we bought a duck. we're keeping him in our dorm room. don't ever try to tell me you've had a better freshman year than me.
I'm not sure if it was sex or spear fishing. He goes in for it like he's crash landing a rocket
I'm flagged. Drank strippers water. Flashed Dave tryin to get a job here. You order the shots. Green tea betch.
I don't think anybody else enjoys making out with multiple guys on the same night as much as I do. I'm like a wine taster but with lips... it's like art to me. The bruise on my upper lip is proof of it
He also gave me two gold stars for sex. On my nipples.
If I was gonna be at your campus for halloween weekend, I'd dress up as the masked horny fairy and give out condoms. I'm so thoughtful.
She just walked out of her bedroom naked and asked me to help put her diaper on. Yeah, that pretty much sums up the last 24 hours...
Pandemic Silver Lining: cheap hotel rates makes it easier to have afternoon fun with my side dick
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