my coke dealer is running a Black Friday special
Last night at the bar my fuck buddies found out about each other.
Wtf? What happened?
Not quite sure but they rock, paper, scissored to see who was taking me home.
So my professor just changed my Final to 7:45am on May 6th. Shouldn't a Spanish professor understand the implications of Cinco de Mayo???
well, 500 bucks doesn't grown on trees, and i need that bear suit for any chance of vagina access.
saw a man tazing a raccoon in the middle of the street last night... normal
In all honesty of all my sexual conquests, his dick is probably my proudest moment.
It's 10AM, she's drunk blaring veggie tales and I have a paper to write you've got to be fucking kidding me
do you know how much drugs we can buy now that you got that raise at work
You said you'd make me a thank you card for taking care of your drunk ass. I'll be expecting that monday.
Texas awaits me. And all the cocks that live there too.
Pro: Drunk Portland Strip Club. Con: Monday morning hangover at work. Pro: boobs. Con: Sleep deprivation. The Pro's are winning.
I would agree. Add some coffee to the booze. It will cut down on sleep deprivation.
My legs feel like baby dolphins
Based on his face I'm positive he has a beautiful penis.
some kid just came up 2 me bleeding yelling "thats how u riot"
I’m torn. She’s crazy - like legitimately “Wear your skin as a suit” crazy. But her blow jobs and dirty talk are Pornhub quality!
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