I wasn't excited about it either, but if I was going to have her take a load on her face, role playing as some french dude is the least I could do
Oh. Thats cool. Im not dating anyone right now. Sean gave me chlamydia from some GUY he fooled around with. Im being abstinent.
i dont have any money that hasnt already been designated for cigarettes and birth control
i finally watched harry potter... a tad unrealistic if you ask me... i mean a ginger kid with 2 friends?
She pointed at me and told her friend, I'm going to fuck him, its going to be really loud, so yes, i need the whole basement.
I seriously might throw up right now. In class. Sunglasses on. I'm getting too old for this.
Tonight, I'll be cleaning. And by cleaning, I mean drinking booze and spraying everything with Febreze.
I am still sore from last night. I can't wait for you to meet my parents.
I didn't know how wild the party was going to be until one girl brought her pet raccoon
Immediately after sex he layed on the floor and acted like my yellow bra was pac man
Aint no party like a Broke College Girls Eating Stuffed Crust Pizza party
Afternoon delight is playing while I take a shit at mcdonalds
You spilt a drink on my couch, then used my dog to mop it up... you called her a mop dog, repeatedly
I just walked across town, stoned off my ass and barefoot in 35 degree weather for him to bust five mins in and then apologize 13 times as I got dressed.
I believe the only reason I am slightly functional right now is the leftover drugs in my nose that I keep sniffing
Randomize