My sheets at my parents place are clean. No braveheart but I can paint myself, yell "freedom", and sword fight you with my cock. So come over.
It's true. Ladies love me because I'm so strong and they feel safe. Not because of my pseudo charm and their impaired judgement after several drinks...
I'm too scared of my Fleshlight to even use it anyway.
do all gilrs hav hair on thier vagaina ?
Don't drive home.
i just saw someone crawling up the stairs to the dorm while screaming "i have the best vagina!"
On a scale of one to trashy, how is this: Got drunk, gave a guy a hand job. In the middle of the bar
I think you broke the trashy scale
Bars not open yet, I feel like a desperate alcoholic wandering around outside.
I think I just agreed to be an escort for an Asian guy who's gonna be in the city next weekend before he moves back to Shanghai...
Since your rent is paid til the first, we decided to use your apartment as the beer pong room. We apologize in advance for losing your security deposit.
I caught them hiding behind a car trying to have sex.
I think I just sold a snake to a stoned teenager.
The fact that I'm going to be living with you is starting to make me worry about my heatlh.
Ya that ship has sailed dude
You turn 21 at midnight!
This is better than being born!!
Sorry i ignored you for so long. I think my vibrator is broken.
We havent had power for three days. What else is there to do besides drink and fuck? I thought that was obvious.
Randomize
