32 messages asking me to suck his dick. And there for a minute i thought i was desperate. ha!
Hahahaha
make that 40.
Our relationship is like that beach boys song "help me Rhonda" and I'm fucking Rhonda. And Rhondas's the whore in case you've never heard it.
On a scale of one to trashy, how is this: Got drunk, gave a guy a hand job. In the middle of the bar
I think you broke the trashy scale
This is why you don't make out with cougars at a bar... I got a linkedin request from her, wtf?
I even resorted to pole dancing with the street sign. I have an extra $20 now because I think people were paying me to leave.
We just made a drinking game out of our chemistry review. This might explain my chemistry grade.
HAPPY NEWYEARSM FAGTRON! GETTING HEAD IN TAXI I WIN
I found out that they tried to reenact the Snooki drop by using a jump rope and the banister. Pictures say it all.
great idea involving lots of fake blood and face paint, call me tomorrow.
begin the sex magic rocket ship countdown
That awesome feeling when you are pooping on the same toilet that nobel laureates have pooped on
My week is over as of 8pm tonight, and I'm herpes free...Let's rage
There was no eligible dick at the ER. I'm pissed. Looks like "Searching for Strange at the Local Free Clinic" is a no go for the name of our first full length album. On the other hand, I got a dilaudid shot and I no longer feel like I have the worst bladder infection of my life.
Thinking of someone think of me while masturbating while I masturbate. & that's how the over thinkers do it ✌️
I'm going to go ahead and refrain from sexting you in an airport that is currently at a "level orange" security threat.
Randomize