Ricky Martin is gay. You owe me $10 from 3rd grade.
I had 4 margarita's and 2 mixed drinks and i blew zero's. Its a cinco de mayo miracle.
The new google images is a smorgasbord of porn now are plans for tonight are off.
you picked up the vacuum cleaner at one point and said you we gonna beat the shit out of me with it. that was kinda funny
Is "incoherent" a legit goal to strive for tonight? Or should I stay sober enough to fuck who I can?
Seriously, even though I keep it clean, I could douse it in bleach and set it on fire and still not be comfortable with you actually holding it. It's been in my VAGINA.
I asked him why the bed was wet and got.."well there are two options... and its not you."
Right now I'm in a club where they are passing out glow in the dark dildos by the dozen. I don't think my life will ever get weirder than it is at this moment.
Girls at BYU need to learn how to handle a penis. I swear my date last night was trying to pull it off my body to use later.
Do you think it's wrong for me to hop on that dick before he realizes that he's gay?
Burnt food and a broken vibrator. Disappointment after disappointment. Is April a man?
Apparently I'm some kind of sexual camel.
right now I am washing the alcohol and shame off from last night
last night I mixed vodka in with my protein shake... and you tell me my new years resolution was impossible
I've been eaten out in coupes, sedans, trucks, suv's, you name it. If I can do it in a smart car, you can do it in a vw beetle.
I knew you were the expert on doing it in public. You need to get paid for your advise
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