Nope, Im Irish and pissed with some drunk mixed in...therefore punching things is the best solution to every problem.
You told her the u were going to wrap your dick around her neck and start her like a lawn mower. thats why she left.
He is like that thing on the menu you would eat because nothing else looks remotely edible.
hey, when you wake up, search yourself on youtube
my sister already found it, were watching it right now. i give it 2 thumbs up.
literally every day that goes by where he doesn't talk to me makes me more determined to get him to have sex with me
this isnt the person you just texted but i have her phone. she disappeared when the bacon came home and she hasn't returned since.
let's put it this way: i'm gonna stop drinking and get a gym membership. she's that hot
dude they had a "sorry for partying" wall in their house which consisted if all the hospital bills, tickets, detox receipts and court orders they've gotten. The ENTIRE wall was covered.
It doesn't matter how many beers you've had, it's unacceptable to piss in someone's helmet after a playoff win.
You straight up wore me out. This should be a proud moment for you. It's almost like my penis is asking for a timeout. But not really
If I wasn't stoned and knee deep in cheese and crackers I'd help.
Also, we found a geriatric Snoop Lion.
I had a dream last night that I met Diplo. Now I'm just sad
I was really proud of me too last night! Found a discarded hamburger that I have no memory of at the foot of the bed. Instead of a Dude. I'm really growing as a person
At some point the phrase "I've hit rock bottom" stopped having a meaning and became my general state of life
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