I was hooking up with him in my car, he wouldn't stop with my nipples, I had to literally beat him off of me. He kept groaning too while he was doing it. Sick.
Mommy issues
Pregnant stripper...not hot.
I wish we could go back in time and find our best farts ever
Street performer on bourbon st just lifted a sewer top so I could puke down it. I love New Orleans.
I dont even clean my room anymore .. i drunk proof it for when i come back smashed with a guy
He's throwing up in my bed and I'm not even getting fucked for this
she keeps giving me cups of everbeer.. its everclear and beer mixed. i guess its blackout or backout time
josh has a chalupa in his pocket if you're hungry.
We will have to go big on the 4th! Nothing says independence like the impending doom of an ankle monitor
How big of a disservice to the economy would we be doing if we didn't drink every day holiday break?
Ur wingman ability is causing serious doubt
Ok first off its WAY easier if you are actually here
You were supposed to be my wingman and all you kept to her friend was "kill it with fire"..
I've given up on the male species, I'm just going to be a lonely whore for the rest of my life.
Dude, I'm at a wedding and there's a mashed potato bar and bacon strip appetizers. I'm getting all emotional.
I'm thankful I didn't get drunk and shit my pants this year. 🦃
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