Saw a dead body on the way to the casino. I think that's a good sign.
But never have I ever had sex with a dirty talker before, so it was something else, to say the least. I signed up to get laid, not play Penthouse Mad Libs.
The night ended with a lot of tears and everyone singing along to Willenium
karaoke mosh pit has descended into fisticuffs, send backup
And I think short bridesmaids dresses are the best idea especially for bathroom sex
I didnt think the feeling of accomplishment for fucking brothers would be this great.
He hasn't touched a vagina in two and a half years. THIS IS WAY TOO MUCH PRESSURE TO BE UNDER
Only you could successfully troll for dick at a Hillel bake sale.
I had to write an apology letter to my roomate for hotboxing in our bathroom. What a bitch.
OMG I WAS JUST THINKING ABOUT HOW OUR FRIENDSHIP IS SO REAL BECAUSE I SHOW YOU DICK PICS AND WE LAUGH TOGETHER.
Fuck you, dude, I'm not sharing my weed anymore if you're going for the Panthers.
we should most definitely have a fire extinguisher in the apartment. like... for sure
DO I FUCKING *LOOK* LIKE SOMEONE WHO HAS THEIR ACT TOGETHER!?!? THE ANSWER IS "NO"!
My boss walked into my office and gave me a toothbrush and tips for dealing with sex hair. She knows what’s up
Jesus christos I come home and am treated like my vagina is made of gold
Either that or it dispenses candy
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