Where you are. You must stay where you are are
Where you are. You must stay where you are arewhere are youu
Where you are. You must stay where you 5eare wher are you!!
i'm sure there's a big cosmic reason for things working out the way they did. like, now you have awesome images to masturbate to.
our cab driver is having phone sex.
It took you an unbelievable amount of time to realize that your ass was on fire.
Just got to costco. Where are you?
Liquor aisle, bring another cart.
She should get an extra 30 days for that Georgia Rule movie......terrible.
Blood drive hookups: you will probably faint during the sex, but at least you know neither of you has AIDS
Gonna send a picture of my negative pregnancy test with the message "Merry Christmas" to the guys I've been sleeping with. That alone, will put a huge dent in my shopping list of gifts for people.
he made me feel like a shish kabob. his dick was the skewer.
and you said he wasn't worth calling.
It's 10AM, she's drunk blaring veggie tales and I have a paper to write you've got to be fucking kidding me
I feel like a pet sloth would complement my lifestyle.
Found the cure to anxiety attacks.
An orgasm
My ex's new gf is pregnant and he is sterile, so 2016 is starting off well.
We had sex last night...... This "Friends" thing is going well.
She calls him the walking dildo to his face. That relationship is already fucked up.
Randomize
