I don't know where I am but the food in the fridge is awesome.
This bar receipt from last night makes no sense
You were wasted and got mad that it was too high so you subtracted 50 bucks in the tip line from the total
I wish that would've worked
I just want to know how you cleaned her puke off the twister mat with no gloves. And didn't throw up
i'm dressed up like the coppertone baby and being hit on a guy in a monk costume. the irony is not lost on me.
After four attempts, his condom would not flush. I had to remove it with salad tongs.
Nothing like moscato in your sinuses tobmake your night complete
dude you had a hot girl interested and took shots together, as soon as it went down the hatch you upchucked on her entire existance..
successful birthday. 2012 rules
I don't know what I would do if cheese never existed
Someone's stooooned
If you ever insult pizza rolls again, I will dragon kick you in the throat
i was asked to be gay of honor by three different girls and NONE of the groomsmen at any of the weddings is open to experimenting. i mean whats the point then.
Taking body shots off hot Camren. Get here now.
It's not even noon and I've had 3 people call me a savage, one of them said it in reference to the blow job I gave them. So I guess you could say it's going to be a good weekend
friends who go to the bar together leave the bar together and im not leaving you behind ohana means family
What's a really polite way of saying "you have gravely overestimated the value of your vagina?"
Our son just found our secret Sex Dungeon that is no longer hidden in our basement. He brought his Xbox and the TV down there he is currently sitting in the sex swing playing video games. What do I do?
Randomize