I have nothing to say, just wanted ur phone to vibrate
I hate when people uglier than me have girlfriends
He had a cowboy hat I don't know where from and he was trying to lasso a snowman with a dog leash.
All he wants to do is masturbate while I sit there with my big toe up his ass that is not even the worst part of it.
just when i thought we would make it home without incident he tried to walk a police dog
And yes, in case u were wondering a 25 year old high school agriculture teacher did just hit on me At Walmart bc of my pinata
Def walking back to my apt with a blender, an empty vodka bottle, and a half eAtn drumstick cone.
Ive yelled into your vagina. There are few lines we haven't crossed at this point.
You fell out of your barstool, I tried to help you but you said if I got any closer I'd be drinking my meals through a straw, So there you sat.
You're a disgrace to the female race and the love triangle and halloween.
casual night just sitting in the kitchen at 2 am eating stale chips and hot sauce while my friends younger sister is cleaning all the blood off my body
You know what's awkward? Being with your girlfriend and seeing her ex-boyfriend that she left for you while you've got a Ron Burgundy level awkward boner.
I can recall having this conversation with a three year old, but go on
I'm slacking. We've been hooking up for months and I have yet to bang him while he's wearing the clown mask.
If we're going to communicate going forward, you'll need to be versed in Gillian Anderson.
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