We were chasing that deer in the quad and next thing I remember I woke up in my RAs bed. I'm probably in trouble.
Totally saw a hot amputee. I think this is called character growth.
OMG - This guy with a mullet just told me - it wasn't a mullet - but his hair dresser layered it wrong. It's so walmart in here. I hate you.
Thanks for the menagerie of condoms on my desk
It's the use of SAT words like that which make me want to use them on you
i cant talk right now. we are trying to finish our homework so we can play with play-doh
his semen tasted like maple syrup. no wonder fat girls always wanna fuck him.
Don't be alarmed at the girl laying on your bathroom floor.
You just handed me your ATM card and wrote your PIN number on a dollar bill and said "for bail money."
Sorry for rubbing my feet on you and repeating "good pony, stay."
Night just started and I've already seen a woman headbutt a brick wall. Unintentionally. Epic to say the least
We ended up debating which Food Network host would do best in porn.
The 12 year old son winked and made eyes at me while his father fed me vodka gummy bears. Gameday yo
Chose not to courtesy flush and the CEO huffed the result. I feel powerful.
Not a problem, sailor. I speak both autocorrect and typo.
I want a shirt that says, "I'm sorry for the things I said when it was Taco Tuesday"
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