is it bad that i have made the decision to never travel to vienna simply because of that transvestite that won the bachelor?
dont start drinking without me
I'm not sure where but someone shit somewhere in the house
Do you know many girls there are in gay bars waiting for me to do coke off their tits? A lot.
I told the girl in his bed not to bleed on his sheets like the last one.
I have to overdose on valtrex I had a rough weekend.
My vagina would be awesome. I would be the most popular girl in the village.
I will come over now to take full advantage of you in your vulnerable state.
Fine. I should warn you I just threw up in danas fish tank. Fish are dead. Livers dead. I smell and look like a dead animal. And not showering. So deal with it.
So I found "Fat chicks in saran wrap" in my search history.
That's all you talk about when you are wasted.
Is shaving my mustache contingent on you sleeping over tonight?
Fake an illness. Her and her friends are like the female version of guys who wear tapout shirts
Had a burrito last night in your honor
That's the nicest thing you've ever done
Look,the guy had sex w/a Canadian prison guard on the deck of a cruise ship,he could blow any second.
Says the girl who left her friends to go have phone sex in the bathroom at Michael's
I'm on the Coaster ride of shame, currently sitting across two nice old ladies smelling like condoms.
I think the God that I only kind of believe in, definitely hates me.
Randomize
