ok plan lets look hot and dance like whores.
this is a mass text to all the people i smoke weed with. I have Mono, so if we've shared a bong/pipe. sorry man.
His foreplay reminded me too much of breastfeeding.
there's nothing like the elf drinking game to get me in the christmas spirit.
I'm starting to blur the boundary between reasonable senioritis and self-destruction. Somewhat-openly hittin the flask in 11am class
he is allergic to cats. we can only glue dog hair on him. otherwise he might die and i dont want to be responsible for that.
ahaha ok
let's call it "werewolfing"
Those titties aren't worth a lifetime of listening to her talk about gluten free yams and japanese manga.
She keeps asking if I've seen him... For the last time YES... IN MY BED LAST FRIDAY NIGHT AND THEN AGAIN SATURDAY MORNING
Novelty of the week: Getting my lipstick back in an evidence bag
Take the weirdness of Japan and add the insanity of Florida and that's Jimmy
RAAAAAAAAWWWWRRRRRR
THATS ME HOWLING MY ENJOYMENT OF THE THINGS WE CAN DO WHILE GETTING DRUNK
I couldn't find my hair brush so I just brushed my hair with a cat brush. I should not be dating.
you do realize the next step is naked mud wrestling, right?
He kept referring to my giving him head as a new level in our relationship and acting sentimental
You gave him a bj, not a kidney
the people in front of me have a grocery cart in their car... i missed college...
Randomize
