you're like the ceasar milan of boners... you understand them on a different level.
I thought I was riding a bike, but I guess it was a vacuum cleaner
My dad hugged me and said I love u. I'm glad I didn't pull out that night.
Just fyi NOT a good idea to drunkenly insert your NuvaRing after chopping jalepeno peppers
tonight's goal was "most regrettable decision" and you bring wine coolers?
Thanks for buying me a sippy cup, its so pretty and everyone keeps telling me its probably the best gift anyone could have given me
My bruised ribs were so worth that win in beer pong
I told him that his face would look perfect between my legs. One of my most successful strategies yet.
so exactly what is concert sex etiquette? Before, during or after???
all of the above
Dude, you can't even imagine the trip, I actually thought that there were Care Bears sitting next to me at the bar, I'm pretty sure I started hitting on the pink one.
We're going to party like we don't have spanx on
I'm the Oprah of jello shots
I never thought in a million years that I would have a threesome with my boss and his wife and yet here we are.
Woke up next to a half eaten Philly Cheesesteak. Honestly probably one of the top 3 things I've ever woken up next to.
Would it be creepy if I masturbated with my face in the pillow he slept on last night? Cuz I'm pretty sure that's about to happen
Randomize
