so i had a choice between studying for my physics test on fluid dynamics or spend the night with my girlfriend. hello doubletasking.
Drinking mikes hard & watching the swan princess. i fucking LOVE college
Thanksgiving. A stoners favorite holiday
If I banged a coworker last night but didn't enjoy it can I put it down on my timesheet?
Okay well someone asked "IS HE HOMELESS?" about me so I need to try and find somebody.
The airport has the best people watching and munches... It should be a destination drinking location
Seriously, fuck work.
uh yea I'm curled up in the trunk of my car
Did we seriously steal a wet floor sign from McDonald's then get chased down by a homeless man for it? Never drinking again.
Some dude peed on tonys floor because drunkness
They offered him a bucket as he was peeing and he was like "Nah, I'm good"
Well if your hearts not big enough, your penis certainly is. Just have a threesome
When dressing for a 3way, how do I convey to the other chick I care enough to look pretty but not so much that it's a huge deal?
Let's just say it was like a porno version of Aladdin....
Who the fuck watches Jessica jones and thinks I need to call a past fling?
i think i just lost a toe
Right. He was like "I'll be here all night if I have to..." I was like "Well then, I'll have to call the cops..."
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