Who keeps a bong in their car??
Kids who graduated high school two weeks ago.
I bet there is no greater pleasure in life than pistol whipping people.
Anal.
they said they heard you say put it in my butt
I think I'm going to try and hook up with that blond tonight.
I'm going for alcohol poisoning.
Reggie can tackle my bush.
We already established this. No, he did not cum on the dog.
not sure how we got back down, broken rib says we didn't use stairs
did i try to light ur hair on fire with a sparkler at the club saturday?
Please tell me your aunt didn't see the Brita pitcher full of condom wrappers. We had at least 100.
Sunday Funday has been cancelled indefinitely, due to lack of self control of all parties involved.
Actually it's really just going to be me drunk in your living room swinging from a pole on a tuesday morning.
The water at the venue tasted HORRIBLE so I just kept drinking booze. It was like the medievals.
I'm crying and shaving my Bronco playoff beard
It's technically 2016 but since I haven't gone to bed I'm still counting it as 2015, so I'm gonna drink all the alcohol in my house so tomorrow I can become the better version of myself that I'll be for 5 minutes.
I DONT HAVE A FUCKING JOB RIGHT NOW. DO YOU THINK I HAVE TIME TO WASTE GOING BACK AND FORTH WITH SOMEONE WHOS LYING, ABOUT LYING, AND JUST BEING A LIAR? HONESTLY, YES I DO HAVE TIME. BUT I HAVE A FUCKING LOT BETTER THINGS I COULD BE WASTING MY TIME DOING. LIKE ORGANIZING MY POKEMON CARD COLLECTION.
Randomize
