the shit that comes out of a woman's mouth when she knows you can't hit her is fucking unbelieveable
Dude, I just saw a bird vs. squirrel fight. A car won.
and he thought i came like four times in 2 mins. my leg just kept cramping up
Can't wait to go see my drug dealers baby being born. He rolled all of the "it's a boy" cigars into blunts.
I feel like a great embryo-shaped weight has been lifted off my shoulders.
I dunno. It's not as good as 'devourer of cocks' but I suppose few things are.
I don't care who it's from we're getting blown. It's a 3 day weekend anything can happen
Is this the girl that wrote "Poon Slayer" across my chest?!
If you've ever wanted to get filthy in a Catholic church before 2 on a Wednesday, I might be your guy.
I either have a razor blade lodged in my throat or I've been drinking entirely too much Evan Williams.
How is it that I, the only one that didn't drink last night, was the only one puking out the car window?
Can I come by? I want you to meet my squirrel
New rule: if someone asks if you would like to snort a xanax the answer is no.
Was just at a stoplight and some kid was smoking a blunt and we smiled at him and he offered to pass it between cars... Only in Rockford
It's like the perfect sandwich, once you find it you want to ensure your future access to it.
Randomize
