Remember that time i walked in on your friend taking a huge shit?
Remember that time you hooked up with him?
quick i need to know how implid consent works for golf carts
too late i think im gettin a gcui
You watched "From Justin to Kelly" and sang along to more than half of the songs. I didn't know whether to laugh or to be insanely frightened that you knew almost all the lyrics.
You're the only person I know who would say "we'll play it by ear" referring to a threesome
The drugs are starting to wear off. Suddenly aware there's a girl with bald patches and 2 guys that don't have a full set of teeth between them.
my tonsil wound opened up during the kegstand but i stopped it with a popsicle
What's standard gratutity for someone having a miscarriage on stage at a strip club? It's important.
Why do they give me cups on $8 pitcher night? I HAVE A PITCHER.
I was passed out in a dog food bowl tor two hours. Just tapped my dinner beer. I love homecoming.
We just reached that moment of the night when you start making cookie quesadillas. Party on Wayne
Why is there a condom in the dishwasher...
Welcome to the difference between being FWBs (remember how we used to see who could get more lap dances a night?) and being in a relationship. Fun, huh?
I left the bar I'm on a bench across from the bowling alley taking a nap please come get me. I've had three lollipops.
I'm sorry but if you can talk well enough to critique his oral game, he clearly needs the pointers.
I still can't believe I was army crawling thru his backyard at 2am..
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