Today I realized that I've had whole drunk relationships with people. And sober me has and wants no part in it.
Im watching hello kitty on qvc debating if its a good idea to cook bagel bites on my space heater
I told you I was good to drive
dumbass I drove... you sat in the passengers seat and steered with a paper plate
Just got walked in on during safety inspections
Think you passed?
you started texting yourself and saying they were "divine messages from heaven" then you threw up on stacie's piano.
my mom took me to a gay bar and went on and on about all her good times at clubs... i now know where i get it
My roommates said duck dynasty was stupid ... toto i don't believe we're in kansas anymore.
Have you ever just sat there and thought about past penises?
His dad and I had a drunk conversation about life. At 4 am he told me that I was 21 and cute and should fuck whoever I want.
What kind of paramedic is he, some dude is dying back there and he's trying to get laid
That was years ago. And it was chlamydia.
I found one of those wine glass confetti bits in my ass crack.
Well I just took a pregnancy test... So how's your thanksgiving?
sarah's view on last night: a threesome to make things less awkward. oh, well done.
And I think she just drunkenly ordered an ipad. she said it was so pretty she couldn't keep it "locked up" because an ipad has to be let free.
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