Told my mom a bit ago she'd meet you tonight
Um...??
She's excited
sorry if i was weird last night, had weird deja vu that we had done that before, i mean with the peanut butter.
we had.
well that explains the rash. i dont think i should see you again.
I'm gonna vom. In the dentist chair. Who makes a dentist appt for July fucking 5th.
i thought i'd fucked her to death. no lie. she just stopped moving.
I have been drinking since 2. And I'm now chasing the cat around the house with a light saber. Anna's helping.
He sent me a picture; erect penis, cat in hand and no pants on. He got a boob pic for that one.
I found him stumbling up to our building with a solo cup under his arm. . . He told me it was his favourite thing ever. He also told me hes never been drunk before.
She is watching her grandpa for the day and the dude just whipped it out and started jerking off while watching the View.
He rubbed my back afterwards. I forgot how to talk and I legitimately thought I was a cat for a few minutes.
Preparing for the bar exam has made my whatever disorder you said I have act up again
But idk if I cried about life then banged him or banged him and then cried. Chicken or the egg?
Crawl out into the sunshine and off your vibrator for 7 minutes
I think someone shaved off all their pubes in the handicap stall or a werewolf stopped by the office to take a crAzy dump!
HE CALLED HIMSELF HOT BAR GUY.
If I remember correctly he wasn’t
Listen, I love you but you cannot refer to your dick as the holy sister anymore
Randomize
