1 of the best things of being a business owner is I don't get fired for having sex in the office
Girls only wine night turned into a sloppy drunk lesbian orgy again
so either half this theatre is as stoned as me, or day daybreakers is hilarious
It's okay, I climbed on the roof of the bar to get my shoe back. This may become a Saturday tradition. I'll keep you updated
She stumbled in with some guy, woke me up, introduced him and said "This is my sister. She's a freshman. She probably hates you."
Would you be mad if I just used the argument "I'm allowed to say that, my best friend is a lesbian"?
Never. I'm proud to help you win arguments.
The worst that could happen is you end up with a black eye and I get laid.. I'm okay with my end of that bargain.
I'm going to fix your towel rack. I broke it while I was dancing on it.
I puked on his mom. Not my proudest moment
This is not my bathroom and these are not my pants
I'm so jealous of your sex life. You know it's awesome when thinking about the sex you had last night brings you tears of joy.
EW HE LOOKS LIKE SOMEONE'S DAD
You smell like a steam boat captain.
Whatever your on right now, I want.
Do you know why I slept in the yard last night?
You said you watched the lion king stoned and had to do it for simba.
Pride rock will get you every time.
Just blew on a shot of whiskey to cool it off, like it was soup...
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