Omg. If Ina Garten Makes roast chicken one more time im going to strangle her with her white button down
So Ive been fucking her for the past couple months and i just found our that my grandfather and her grandmother were fuck buddies for a while. I feel like this is a new awesome family tradition that skips a generation.
why is there cat hair all over my deoderant?
she wanted to smell more freshershest than you.
i'm moving back early just in case the freshmen need a tour of the school
oh right the one that ends on your bed
Just don't have "pin the tail on the straight edge" as a party game... Please and thanks...
Don't try to dry clothes in the microwave. They'll catch on fire.
i'm just sitting here going through her tagged pics, covering up different parts of her face to try and figure out exactly what it is that makes her so ugly.
Look, I said I'm sorry. In the shower, "are you happy to see me" sounded just like "could you please pee on me". Honest mistake.
You're about to fuck a guy with a sweatshirt tied around his waist like a mensurating 13 year old. Get your priorities straight, you're graduating tomorrow.
bad night - i tried for naughty librarian but could only manage to pull off pissed off barrista.
This tiny cat is tiny breathing with her tiny lungs and im having a tiny freak out. Like those lungs have to be super tiny.
She's a freaking stalker dude, it's like having some kind of cartoon animal just following around everywhere
You'd love her. She's outspoken like us. And appreciates a big penis and a strong drink.
If you think eating a bowl of leftover stuffing and drinking champagne from the bottle in dirty sweats at 9am is sexy... Then yeah, I'm your girl.
Yay I only have ONE giant mystery bruise from yesterday
Randomize
