as evidence of my kitchen this morning my night involved alot of mustard and condoms
There's been so much talk around your vagina it's like a local celebrity
I remember her trying to talk to me a few times after we broke up and I'd always change the subject to bagels.
Im sitting alone watching titanic. Drunk. Without pants. Holding a fishing pole. Im pretty sure im okay with all of this.
I just figured you know how to drive a boat and I know how to get drunk. What can go wrong
update: ifinallt managed t5o be in a. Horizontal position without throwing up... the snmall victories.
He puked on the grill while the burgers were on. We had to go to taco bell
Tonight that bitch will not be with him. You will drunkingly talk him out of this wedding. It is your duty as the one with the least amount of soul. Good luck.
since when did our medecine drawer and our sex drawer become the same drawer? we now have lube covered cough drops.
I really like your cover photo on fb that looks cool
In case birth mom friends me back, thought I should make it less drunk looking.
he had shaved armpits. I repeat: HE SHAVED. HIS. ARMPITS! First hookup of 2014 and it's with a weirdo. Alcohol:1 Me:0
I'm about to turn myself in when I'm less hungover.
She said my penis was powerful and magnificent
Just calm down. My foot long super joint and I will be over shortly.
If I don’t find a quality dick soon I’m going to beg the neighbor for another threesome with her and her husband. It’s like Covid killed all the quality penis Vegas normally has
Randomize
