i just carried on a conversation with my mother from another room mid-ejaculation. you would have done the same
this weekend will be like the season finale to my life
Just come over and take your pants off. 35 mins tops. You'll be home before midnight cinderella
i saw a stretcher and literally ran around for 10 minutes telling people it wasnt for me
All I need in life is some dick and a big mac.
I literally need to be slapped with another cock just to notice it.
Using a Nedi Pot after doing lines... at least I'm a health conscious drug user?
theres 5 guys on the side of the road with beads and their shirts off screaming at cars already.
Don't smoke out front when you get home there's gasoline involved I'll tell you later
It might've been him telling me last night that he "doesn't even need beer goggles to fuck me." When I thought that was sweet, I realized something needed to change.
I just had my first lesbian experience. Out of spite.
HELP! How do I get paint off the dog?
We did it in the bar bathroom and the bathroom attendant sold us a condom. I love Nashville
They had an Olympic theme party at her work yesterday. She brought home her fake gold medal and hung it on my cock after she rode me.
Gatorade without vodka just doesn't taste the same
Randomize
