I'm not really sure actually. until I fell in love with a boy (which was just a few weeks ago) I thought my attraction to men was purely physical.
so you were gay...and then you realized you were EVEN MORE gay
sometimes when i'm drunk i choose the spanish option on the ATM to challenge myself.
Just to warn you I probably wont be able to do anything that involves standing up
Either sorry for fondling you Saturday or thank you for letting me fondle you Saturday.
Hey, I'm off work. Wanna take a metric fuckton of adderall, possibly get daydrunk, and get my hair cut?
Get off me. I'm done. I want a cookie.
I don't know how it happened. All I did was tell her I was impressed by her presentation. Her nail marks on my back ain't going away anytime soon.
Executive order 941: BRING ME THE FINEST PANCAKES!
You have got to stop watching the West Wing before going out.
If they could bottle a hangover it would taste exactly like lemon lime Gatorade and failed hopes and dreams
Does she know she is talking to people who slam shots of fireball and chase it with vodka?
All of my friends are talking about changing their lives because they have an alcohol addiction and I'm over here reminding my boss that it's national beer day.
She was cute in her own little way. Shit, free taco's makes anyone hot.
does anyone know where bryan is?
last i saw he was naked, and crying in the bathroom because there was no more booze.
The frequency with which I change my vibrator batteries is getting a little ridiculous....
My boss spotted an injured PIGEON outside the front door this morning (at 3:30am) and requested that I catch it and take it to the vet. Catch it with what! Take it where!These requests have gone too far...
Randomize
