wouldve been great, if we lived in constant slow motion cause that shit lasted 30 seconds and half the time he was putting on the condom
Using pot as a way to stop crying probably isn't a good sign huh?
Meh, some people pop Prozac, you smoke weed. Po-tay-to. po-tah-to
Im going to bring a boy home tonight, and not tell him that I have my period. So when he tries to fuck me, I say no, and look really classy. Then he thinks I'm marriage material. So I give him head.
I just gave the bartender my number in roman numerals. If she figures it out, she's worth a shot
despite contrary belief, getting peanut butter off your balls is not as easy as it sounds
Woke up with pink eye in both my eyes. That's how the threesome went
Nothing sez sunday morning like waking up in a phonebooth with a leg cramp.
traded hat for shot of whiskey. lovah yo life. only ADVENTURE NOW. OH GOD IT WENT TO CAPS LOCK
Come on Nikki god gave you a vagina for a reason, so you could tell guys what kind of shots to buy you
It's great when the cashier at the liquor store asks "weren't you wearing those clothes yesterday"
so hungover. i just puked at the sight of the beer emoticon you sent me.
For real, I've been ditched by my boyfriend twice today alone. I fucking shaved for this guy.
Somewhere out there, Gloria Steinem just started to cry.
You continued to run around saying "free the nipple" while "taste testing" every liquor on the premises.
you going clubbing tonight?
well its tuesday isnt it
There will be bowls smoken and not a single fuck will be given.
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