I wish they had a smiley of two girls making out
Worst hangover of my career vs the return of the blue balls. Will keep updated
as I was walking out the door her and her roommate started singing "toot it and boot it".. I'm in love
Ok seriously I'm living off of bologna but I have 4 handles in the freezer.
We were on the balcony tossing jello shots to people passing below
When people said no i'd yell "i tried them i promise they aren't roofied!"
I THINK I JUST JOINED A GANG. PLEASE PICK ME UP.
Ran out of plates, so I'm using my sociology notes. Looks like they will finally have a practical use.
multiple people will be seeing my nips tonight. not mad about it at all
Where are you on a scale from one to wasted?
Like alphabetically I'd say a v
He plays D&D and his dick should be carved out of marble. I think I'm in love.
I don't think I used nearly enough fucks in my reply to convey the level of fuck him.
I always feel bad for the sober driver... Never been me but I feel bad... empathetic AF
Its only once in a life time you get to pick your vcard swiper up from jail
sam was dropping a deuce next to me. wrote me a note that said "glad we shared this experience." passed it under the wrong stall. the other guy picked it up. that's all I know so far.
Yeah but now he has a wife. It’s going to be different this year
So what. We’ve banged every Thanksgiving since high school. She just has to understand it’s a holiday tradition
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