So..he puked on my dress and I had to walk back to the dorms in his little sisters Scooby Doo pajamas.
I don't know you.
also i tucked his toothbrush in my shirt. why? i dont know.
I wasn't fucked. I was just drunk, because i was still able to walk into the woods and masterbate.
He said my breasts were God's way of making up to him for all the shit he's had to endure in his life.
No I'm not proud of you for not sleeping with him. He has herpes. You don't get a gold star for behaving how you're expected to. Trust me. I'm a teacher.
I just don't know the best way to tell him I think I saw him in a porn. I mean I got off to it, isn't there some level of awkwardness there?
The sound of my own breathing is making my head throb. That hungover.
Just woke up, shitty hungover, and realized that every article of clothing I slept in was backwards, bra included. Fuck you, gin. Fuck you.
I walk in and my roomie is fucking her bf while wearing lingerie and minnie mouse ears. Right in the childhood.
You just gave me the title for the series of our lives. Haha. Chapter 12: the cocaine on the back of the hairbrush
We smoked a huge blunt and then laid in bed naked eating strawberry shortcake good humor bars. We have the perfect relationship.
I let him use my phone and now I keep getting gay cruise ads, I guess he forgot to mention something.
i just saw a man in the grocery, sitting on the floor, eating out of a galon sized tub of macaroni salad. We need to get on his level.
I dont even know what happened i just remember waking up with beer cans outlining my body...
I just thought you should know that you should be proud of your dick. It's pretty much perfect. Just, ya know, by the way.
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