i barfeds in our rink
is it gross that my labia hangs so much that guys can't find my clit?
No, he will live forever, like cockroaches and Jack Bauer.
I wish alcohol would automatically work as birth control if you have sex drunk.
Take your time, they're doing body shots off the dog.
When she was giving me head last night it felt like there was a NASCAR pit crew working on my dick.
i walked in on you eating. you had the fridge wide open and you were rotating between steak and handfuls of captain crunch.
Just saw a girl duct tape a cigarette back together..I feel like my life is shambles for being present for this
If I die tonight and was cremated, you could probably get high off the smoke.
We have 24 days left before I leave for college and 21 condoms left in the stockpile. Are you up for the challenge?
BTW my friend remembers her as "the one with the pronounced chin"
Yeah that doesn't involve enough booze, count me out
HOW DO YOU FORGET TO FINISH WINE
i just sneezed the second i jizzed and it got in my eye. words can't describe how much i hate life right now.
welp, we watched the human centipede high last night and my mind literally shut down, when i came to all i could hear was mel saying EAT EAT HIS SHIT
Randomize
