i threw up in his kitchen sink and then used a measuring cup to drink water because i couldn't find a clean glass. i just threw up down the stairs. it's gonna be a long walk home.
Balls are like the throw pillows of the penis
this morning he rolled over looked at me and said "oooo, you look like i need a drink" and then put on his clothes and left without another word
Whats the name of the guy with his hand down my pants?
I'm not saying he has herpes, I'm just saying he slept with my friend that has herpes.
A guy in a sombrero stopped to take a picture with me sitting on the curb.
This guy just showed us his webbed feet to prove that his son was actually his son
Meghan got a job at the bar. We're now morally obligated to drink. Is this what dreams are made of?
Can someone please explain where the fish in the mason jar came from when we were at a bar all night?
You told the bartender if he gave you one of the fish you'd go away
I just don't understand how she's willing to go through so much planning and effort just to get a dick inside of her
We go out, we get drunk, we watch Star Wars, we pass out. What's wrong with this tradition?
I have really important information for you regarding the furry convention this weekend
What drinking game we play yesterday? Fight club or something?
I just masturbated while watching Say Yes to the Dress
This is what my life has come to
Everytime I give him head I make him rub my back. Teamwork at it's finest.
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