Some man just said he would jack off to my hair color.
She's like Mona Lisa when she's intoxicated. No one understands her but they all think she's marvelous
College is just filling the gap until I get a rich girl pregnant
I just want you to know that were having pizza delivered to the emergency room
i feel this outfit says i'm better than you, but i might give you a handjob behind a building
No it's ok. I made friends with the guy that always wears helmets to the bar. His name is helmet Harry
OH MY GOD I CAN'T WAIT TO BONE YOUR EX BOYFRIEND. HOW AWKWARD IS THIS?
Don't ever feel guilty about what you put in your mouth best advice my gma ever gave me lmao
Checked my photo vault today... My self nudie folder is passing the 150 mark.
The weird thing is that you don't send them to anyone. You just keep them for yourself...
I started dipping tositos in my screwdriver last night
then apparently I went "not bad" and continued
Is "head down ass up" an appropriate way to say good morning?
Yeah, I'm just gonna try to repress that and remember him for his big dick and perfect jawline.
Your shirt... Was in my pants
You tried to stop drinking but then she started feeding you tequila with a spoon. You were like an adorable baby bird.
The sex was so good we high-fived after.
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