Being alone has allowed me to flourish into a complete weirdo
Omg I def was not. I wasn't that drunk. I showed that I stuff my bra but I didn't whip my tit out.
Have u ever been so drunk that pissing urself felt like a better idea than walking to the bathroom? I entered those waters last night
The more my room-mate speaks, the more I notice that she was home schooled.
She just kept tellin me God was coming back and he was leavin her with a bag of stale doritoes and shitty friends.
Just had a flashback of you announcing "your nipples aren't that big for the size of your boobs, I've seen them"
But it's not about our feelings, it's about making the men we sleep with feel awful about their lives
wait no I wore my bra home that morning. I stole someone's bra last night?
I have no idea how but i got a hold of a blue food dye packet. And proceeded to rub it all over my tits. So yeah i'd say its safe to say i'll be known as smurfette for a while
This medicine is making me nuts. I just woke up and I thought I was in a glass case with Asians staring at me.
He snapchated me a photo of his penis with the caption "it needs a home".
I've decided that buying my first unused mattress has been my first major step into real adulthood.
I finally got my restraining order in the mail. Was that supposed to upset me? I'm just over here like "TELLEM BOY BYE!-\nlegally..."
I just went to cvs and bought condoms, handcuffs and a coloring book
you bounced a quarter off my butt and it came back hitting you in the eye. karma, bitch.
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