Do you still like to have your hair pulled?
No, I never liked having my hair pulled. I think you have me confused.
the third sister isn't as attractive as the other two but I will do her anyway to finally pull off the fabled family hat trick.
i ate 2 chicken nuggets and puked out 5. that doesn't even make mathematical sense
You SHOULD feel empty, we were at the top of our game, and by that i mean snorting things we don't understand and only a few steps away from adultery.
One last question would your parents let me sleep in your bathtub for the night?
He's socially awkward. He has a big dick. We've had this talk before, they're socially awkward because they don't leave the house they just sit home and play with it.
Why is it that every study session with you turns into a hunt for drugs?
Also one of my neighbors is blasting "pumped up kicks" and possibly butchering some chickens
I ate an entire popcorn ball before bed. I know that because there is popcorn stuck to my poncho. Also. I'm still drunk. Also. I made out with a 19 year old. Also. #barnparties
Sometimes you just gotta fuck a has been local celebrity for your 15 minutes.
Yes sir I did. I'll be there with a guest. And no, my date won't be an escort.
Well if that changes tell the escort to bring cocaine.
He is so pussy whipped she has made him change his name to Toby
Uhmmmm is there really any way to tactfully ask "you into me jerking you off with my feet... or nah" cause if you find one let me know 😂
I am beginning to doubt your commitment to my making poor choices tonight
Trust me, I’ve got a sixth sense about dicks that tells me if a guy knows how to fuck and it’s tingling. You need to prove me right!
I’m not going to bang him just to confirm your Dickth Sense
The Dickth Sense!!! I love it! It’ll be our first porno!
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