Can't talk. I'm at the Tulsa Sheriff's office with a bunch of rednecks. I bet I'm the only one that voted for Obama.
I bet you're the only one who could read the ballott.
roommate just walked in on us. two and a half times. the half, she just knocked, sighed, and walked away.
Why is it people are always in costumes on Cheaters these days? Joe Greco literally just said, "It appears they get chased by a chicken with a chainsaw." WTF?
no, i'm proud of you. this is the happiest you've been since you discovered that bowls can be used as cups if you don't feel like washing dishes.
he sat in the bathtub shirtless yelling in gibberish for 40 minutes. funniest. stoner. ever.
maybe you should start leaving anonymous bottles of booze on his doorstep with love notes attatched. that always gets me.
If you weren't supposed to have sex with your ex then they wouldn't rhyme.
That's ok. Our relationship has a solid foundation of booze and questionable behavior.
Sometimes I look at the people in school that are obviously very diligent and on top of their studies, and then I wonder why they don't smoke weed.
I've been up for almost three hours and it took me until JUST NOW to figure out that what I'm tasting isn't blood, just the minerals in the water. Fuck hangovers, man.
...its technically supposed to be for the bridal shower but I think I can find an ensemble that says "im hopped up on x. Stick your tongue down my throat." As well as " im supporting your marriage to my brother"
How is it that on the one day I'm just moving my car at 6:30 I get the walk of shame looks but when I come home at 9 am in a torn dress holding heels old ladies smile at me?
Plan before tomorrows interview: wash off green glitter from EVERYWHERE!!!
Why are you hurting?
Tried to drink all the beer in Nashville last night....failed.
It's done, I'm done, goodbye veneer of class and dignity it was nice knowing you
Randomize
