don't get me wrong, i like my boss a lot, but not enough to not bang his daughter
we had sex three times last night.. but now im just wet from him crying on my stomach about how much he misses his ex.. awesome
If I had a motorized wheelchair, I'd just chase the squirrels on campus all day.
We're about to have a bottle rocket fight on jetskis. You have 5 minutes to get on our level.
At our floor meeting the RA was talking about bathroom hygiene and I really wanted to be like "what about shower sex."
Valid question
She was purple for Halloween. She literally spray-painted herself purple and called it a costume. It won't come off.
I'm going to be fiscally responsible and buy a handle.
Ugh contemplating vodka and chocolate protein powder as this Capri sun and vodka isn't really cutting it
Relaxed was like phase 1 of this phase 7 high
Why do you hate her?
She's dating the best penis that has ever entered my vagina.....
I thought you might think I was an idiot who thought cock rings prevent STDs,
he's such a nice guy...he deserves a bigger dick.
I know right, I would blow him just for the satisfaction he would taste like vodka
How drunk were you? in an effort to seduce him, you demonstrated your lap dance skillz on his dog.
God knew I'd have horrible taste in men, so made me asexual to ensure I'd never fuck them.
Randomize
